Thought for tonight...

The power of a simple good deed.

http://keenk9.com/horse-saves-blind-dog/

One community is planning to ticket parents of chronic bullies... What do YOU think?

This article was shared with me by someone who is a friend of the blog.  I am interested in hearing what you think about this approach...

Community will ticket parents of chronic bullies

A. PawlowskiTODAY contributor

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Reddit
• PinterestCommunity will ticket parents of chronic bulliesA. PawlowskiTODAY contributorFacebookTwitterRedditPinterestEmailJune 3, 2013 at 1:59 PM ET
  Tickets aren’t just for speeding anymore in one Wisconsin community -- cops there can also hand them out to families whose children torment other kids.
  Monona, a suburb of Madison, Wis., recently adopted an ordinance that allows police to cite the parents of chronic bullies. If they’re notified in writing that their child is bullying, and the bad behavior happens again within 90 days, the parents can be fined $114 in municipal court.
  Julie Hertzog, director of the National Bullying Prevention Center, said this is the first community she has seen pass such a rule. But police noted they don’t expect to use it very often.
  “There’s a lot of discretion here. If we go to someone’s house and the parents are just at wit’s end, they don’t know what to do, they’ve tried everything, it’s just not working – we’re not going to write those people tickets. That’s not right, they’re actually trying to fix the problem,” Walter Ostrenga, the town’s chief of police, told TODAY Moms.
  Elementary Student Hides His Face While Being BulliedGetty ImagesNearly one-third of all school-aged children are bullied each year, according to the National Bullying Prevention Center.“It’s the ones where you go knocking on the door and they say, ‘Hey, my kid’s perfect, you have no reason to come here,’ and slam the door in your face and they’re totally uncooperative. Those are the ones we’re trying to make an impact on.”
  The ordinance covers cyberbullying, Ostrenga said, adding he’s heard nothing but positive comments about the new rule, which was adopted last month. No specific incident prompted the town to take action, he noted, calling bullying a “global issue.”
  Hertzog said it’s too early to tell whether other communities might want to follow suit. She sees education as more of the trend in the battle against bullying, rather than financial penalties, and wondered whether a fine would have an effect.
  “I think parents should be held accountable for their child’s actions, but I also think that in doing so, they need some education and resources about how they can help their child,” Hertzog told TODAY Moms.
  “For so long, we were just looking at our schools as being responsible for this, but now we understand that it’s about community working together: it’s the schools, it’s the parents, it’s the law enforcement.”
  One of the most frequently downloaded handouts on the website of the National Bullying Prevention Center is titled, “What if my child is the bully?” Hertzog said.
• Email

June 3, 2013 at 1:59 PM ET

Tickets aren’t just for speeding anymore in one Wisconsin community -- cops there can also hand them out to families whose children torment other kids.

Monona, a suburb of Madison, Wis., recently adopted an ordinance that allows police to cite the parents of chronic bullies. If they’re notified in writing that their child is bullying, and the bad behavior happens again within 90 days, the parents can be fined $114 in municipal court.

Julie Hertzog, director of the National Bullying Prevention Center, said this is the first community she has seen pass such a rule. But police noted they don’t expect to use it very often.

“There’s a lot of discretion here. If we go to someone’s house and the parents are just at wit’s end, they don’t know what to do, they’ve tried everything, it’s just not working – we’re not going to write those people tickets. That’s not right, they’re actually trying to fix the problem,” Walter Ostrenga, the town’s chief of police, told TODAY Moms.

Getty Images

Nearly one-third of all school-aged children are bullied each year, according to the National Bullying Prevention Center.

“It’s the ones where you go knocking on the door and they say, ‘Hey, my kid’s perfect, you have no reason to come here,’ and slam the door in your face and they’re totally uncooperative. Those are the ones we’re trying to make an impact on.”

The ordinance covers cyberbullying, Ostrenga said, adding he’s heard nothing but positive comments about the new rule, which was adopted last month. No specific incident prompted the town to take action, he noted, calling bullying a “global issue.”

Hertzog said it’s too early to tell whether other communities might want to follow suit. She sees education as more of the trend in the battle against bullying, rather than financial penalties, and wondered whether a fine would have an effect.

“I think parents should be held accountable for their child’s actions, but I also think that in doing so, they need some education and resources about how they can help their child,” Hertzog told TODAY Moms.

“For so long, we were just looking at our schools as being responsible for this, but now we understand that it’s about community working together: it’s the schools, it’s the parents, it’s the law enforcement.”

One of the most frequently downloaded handouts on the website of the National Bullying Prevention Center is titled, “What if my child is the bully?” Hertzog said.

Coulda-Shoulda-Woulda

I wish I knew who to credit this graphic to, but alas, I do not.  There have been a great many times in the course of surviving and moving forward past the targeted bullying of my daughter, where I have wished I had removed her from a situation sooner, wished I had thrown manners way and stood up, and so many other things.  But I cannot go back.

I can,  however, share the experience, and change how I approach things from now on.  I can be mannerly to those people from a distance, but assert that my children WILL NOT be one on one with them, though they have still found ways to corner my daughter to be "friendly".  I cannot change that the folks who should be there to look out for the youth still protect those who do this, maybe because they feel those volunteers cannot be replaced even if their motives are not altruistic.  I cannot protect the kids from folks like that throughout life, they will have to learn to hold their own and not fall victim, while still portraying manners and civility.  So I will keep working on letting go of what I cannot change, and change what I can, without living in fear or as a victim.

I know in time, I will learn to forgive, though I cannot forget, and I will not allow them the opportunity to do that again.  But it will take me time, and first I will work on those coulda-shoulda-wouldas. They don't really help at all.  Got any tricks for those? Please share!

Criticize?

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you will be a mile away and you will have their shoes.

I know we all love these funnies.  Remember that old adage your mom used to tell you about, "If you don't have anything nice to day, don't say anything at all?"  Stand up, and expect that of those around you.  And when you correct them for their unkindness, if these folks only apologize for saying it in front of you, as opposed to for saying it at all,they are showing their true character.  We can show better, and if we emulate better, and demand that of those in our lives, the good can spread!

We were talking about it again yesterday. The folks that bullied and continue to spread lies about my daughter, are lying about things going on on my property, property that they have never been to.  Up until they began this garbage, I would have been fine with them coming out to see for themselves. Now I know that I owe them nothing, and stand that my home, my property should be a refuge for my children, not a place for their garbage to fester.  

When someone  tells you juicy gossip that they feel they "know". Ask them, how do they know it? And did they try to help by going to the site they say was a problem?  Or did they sit on their rear and make up lies to make themselves feel better that would make them sound "nice" as they maligned that person?

It is unbelievable the folks we really want to believe the best about, sometimes have other motives behind their actions.  So again, let your true heart shine through, and show better, emulate better.  Be the positive change and others will follow.

The Truth and Lies

A Lie can travel 

half way 

around the world, 

while the Truth 

is still putting 

on its shoes.

The next time someone tells you something, remember please, if you didn't see it for yourself, without their filter of telling you what you are seeing, you might not be hearing the truth.

Surviving

Note- This is a cross post from our farm blog, but one that seemed appropriate to share here...

As I was just moving things around outside, I found myself thinking that for all of the work and all of the ups and downs, I don't feel as though I am moving as far forward as I would like, but instead just surviving.  But then I thought, for all we have been through, is that really so bad?

Over the last few days, I have said to myself, over and over, "I will not borrow trouble."  I know that at my age, I should know better than this.  But as I learned that the bullies who doggedly pursued my child have, in several cases, been befriending the true friends my daughter has, just as they did before they isolated her in the last couple years before viciously tearing her down, I found myself having to say this, and remember that she does have true friends.  And she will need to learn to handle those people eventually.  I have her homeschooling now, so that she can at least focus on schoolwork without the constant bully garbage, but she does need to learn to stand up to people like that.  So, "I will not borrow trouble."  I do know that it only makes things worse!  Enough overprotective mama!

I had originally planned that I would take time to blog today about the power of those little moments in life, where you turn around and just say "wow."  Those moments of connection with nature's beauty are where my husband feels most spiritual, closer to God within his own heart.  But as I was looking through magazines for recipes to save so I could recycle the magazines, something reminded me of the need to count our blessings regularly.  This right after the thought about surviving, made me think I would take time for that in today's blog post.

Each evening at dinner, we say grace as a family, led by the children.  The simple prayer hasn't evolved as the children have aged, despite my suggestions.  So, after grace, we share around the table what we are thankful for on that day.  That simple act of counting our blessings, and rejoicing in those special to those we love, is so special to me, and I think it helps ground me, too.  Especially on the days that worrying- as much as I know not to- sneaks into my consciousness.

It is interesting, as we have heard the phrase, "from your lips to God's ears" that each little prayer of hope, thanksgiving, and self reflection is a small conversation that helps us become the person we want to be- and that we can be proud of.  Regardless of your personal beliefs, these simple acts are also scientifically proven to increase the level of joy in your life.

So if you, like me, find the need to remind yourself to let go of the worries and count hte blessings in your life- consider yourself blessed- and on the right track to more blessings.  Good really does breed good, right.  In our outlook as well.  And now we have science to back us up- yet again!