Surviving

Note- This is a cross post from our farm blog, but one that seemed appropriate to share here...

As I was just moving things around outside, I found myself thinking that for all of the work and all of the ups and downs, I don't feel as though I am moving as far forward as I would like, but instead just surviving.  But then I thought, for all we have been through, is that really so bad?

Over the last few days, I have said to myself, over and over, "I will not borrow trouble."  I know that at my age, I should know better than this.  But as I learned that the bullies who doggedly pursued my child have, in several cases, been befriending the true friends my daughter has, just as they did before they isolated her in the last couple years before viciously tearing her down, I found myself having to say this, and remember that she does have true friends.  And she will need to learn to handle those people eventually.  I have her homeschooling now, so that she can at least focus on schoolwork without the constant bully garbage, but she does need to learn to stand up to people like that.  So, "I will not borrow trouble."  I do know that it only makes things worse!  Enough overprotective mama!

I had originally planned that I would take time to blog today about the power of those little moments in life, where you turn around and just say "wow."  Those moments of connection with nature's beauty are where my husband feels most spiritual, closer to God within his own heart.  But as I was looking through magazines for recipes to save so I could recycle the magazines, something reminded me of the need to count our blessings regularly.  This right after the thought about surviving, made me think I would take time for that in today's blog post.

Each evening at dinner, we say grace as a family, led by the children.  The simple prayer hasn't evolved as the children have aged, despite my suggestions.  So, after grace, we share around the table what we are thankful for on that day.  That simple act of counting our blessings, and rejoicing in those special to those we love, is so special to me, and I think it helps ground me, too.  Especially on the days that worrying- as much as I know not to- sneaks into my consciousness.

It is interesting, as we have heard the phrase, "from your lips to God's ears" that each little prayer of hope, thanksgiving, and self reflection is a small conversation that helps us become the person we want to be- and that we can be proud of.  Regardless of your personal beliefs, these simple acts are also scientifically proven to increase the level of joy in your life.

So if you, like me, find the need to remind yourself to let go of the worries and count hte blessings in your life- consider yourself blessed- and on the right track to more blessings.  Good really does breed good, right.  In our outlook as well.  And now we have science to back us up- yet again!

Update...

Hi there.  A little over a week ago, my daughter and I went to a meeting of the Anti-Bulling Task Force in our town.  It is one arm of the Fund for Civility and Understanding, created as a positive community based response to the Giffords shooting of January 8th, two years ago.  The home school person from the county superintendent's office, had mentioned it to me as something empowering, since my daughter is resisting trusting a counselor.

There are presentation at each monthly meeting, form folks doing community work, like helping adult leaders learn about recognizing and stopping bullying.  We learned that conflict resolution, for things like bullying, generally doesn't work.  Why not?  Because in bullying, there is no conflict.  Bullying is about power, and exerting power over others for personal gain.  So there isn't a true conflict to resolve, and conflict resolution only enables the bully and traps the victim into being "nice" yet again to someone continuing to hurt them.

At this particular meeting, there was a man from a group who does free education in sexual harassment.  He was discussing that this, too, isn't about sex, but about power.  It is abuse, plain and simple.

They are having a youth PSA contest, which will present in April.  The theme is bystanders, and how they can make a difference.  I remember how last year, when the bullies were carrying out their plans, which I hadn't realized were truly plans which had been orchestrated by a group of people until right around that time- that the bystanders had been warned.  When we walked up, the bystanders stepped back, knowing what was about to happen.  The bullies backed my daughter and I up to a fence.  They knew they had done enough to really do damage them.  And no one stepped forward to care.

There is also a project talking to the parents of those who have been bullied.  That will be interesting to see where it goes.

At the meeting, she did actually introduce herself, which is more than she has done in some time.  The little girl, who used to seek out new kids at school, to give them a place to eat lunch until they found their footing, hadn't been able to manage introductions in some time.  So I am hopeful, and we are moving into a new chapter, with homeschooling and moving forward again.

Got any hints to share?  Strategies?  We are glad for guest blogger posts and ideas and comments.  I moderate them for making sure they aren't mean spirited, or the like, but otherwise all perspectives are welcome.  Hope to hear from you all.  We wish you the best.